Knowing Her
by Lucy H
Summary: Just a little GraceKaren ficlet.


**Disclaimer: I don't own them. Sad, isn't it?**

A/N: This is set towards the end of Women and Children First, the episode where Leo tells Grace that he'll be staying away for five weeks longer than he at first thought. This is only a short fic (most possibly only a one-shot), and it's Grace/Karen. That means it involves (non-graphic) femmeslash. If you don't feel comfortable with the idea of people of the same sex being in a relationship – why are you watching the show?!

_"You should let me help you more, honey. I know a few things, and I care about you…" _

She remembered how hurt she was that Grace hadn't asked her advice in the first place. Of course she was. Who knew the most about marital problems? Who was Grace's closest girlfriend?

Who worked with Grace, saw her, day in day out, and knew most things about her? Things that even Will didn't know… Karen bet that Will didn't know what Grace's favourite fabric was, the way her eyes lit up when she saw a colour combination that she loved, the way she looked when she was totally absorbed in draping a curtain… Karen did. She could tell when Grace had had an argument with Leo – she would avoid Karen's eyes, avoid talking, avoid anything except her work.

During her lunch hour she'd look out of the window and tap her fingers on the desk relentlessly, obviously waiting for Leo to ring. And she was doing that more and more recently.

Grace smiled slightly. "Thanks, Kare. It means a lot." She lay down on her bed, looking up at the ceiling. "You know, I think I've spent more time in here with you than I ever have with Leo."

Karen laughed, fighting down the hot blushes that threatened to emerge. "Don't be silly, honey."

"I'm being honest. Karen, he's hardly ever here, I barely even know him, do I?" She sighed. "What I was saying earlier… it's total bullshit."

"What is?" Karen leaned over her friend, watching her face.

"That my marriage is happy and everything's perfect, and… everything that Ellen's marriage isn't… everything that your marriage wasn't…" Grace ran her hands through her hair. "I loved him so much at first…"

"Then it's very different to my marriage," Karen interrupted. "I married Stan 'cause he was rich, honey, not 'cause I loved him." She laughed. "Could you imagine me loving him? That great lump o' lard?" She shook her head.

Grace laughed. "Yeah, maybe not. But I did love Leo."

"You _did_?" Karen repeated. "Oh, honey… You mean you don't any more?"

"I… I don't know. I don't understand what I feel, Karen, I can't expect to explain it to you and have you understand…" Grace trailed off. "Y'know what? I'm being stupid. There's a room full of women, alcohol, and drugs out there – what are you doing in here with me?"

Karen looked at her for a moment, before speaking shyly. "Being a friend, Grace."

Grace sat up. "And a good friend at that. I can't believe you'd pass up your "party mix" for me and my problems with my no-good do-good husband." She didn't add how grateful she was to Karen for doing this, for listening to her, actually acting as though she cared. If she ever tried to speak to Will about Leo, he'd pass it off with a joke, and bam! The moment was gone and she felt uncomfortable to say anything further. On no account did she want to be one of those women who started every sentence with "My husband…" She didn't want to be Ellen.

"Well, honey, I had Rosie when I was having problems with Stan… I know what it means to have someone there to listen to ya." Karen smiled. "I told you that I know a few things. This is my area of expertise."

"I thought that was alcohol," Grace teased, unable to let such a good joke opportunity pass.

Karen swatted at her lightly. "Hey, and I was being nice!"

"I know… and I appreciate it." Grace smiled, and Karen nodded appreciatively.

"That's better. You're much prettier when you smile, honey." It was true. Despite Karen's many put-downs about Grace's clothes, hair, make-up… she had a pretty smile. Karen had noticed it more and more recently, when it had become rarer to see Grace smiling. The constant worried expression was a cloud over the sun, blocking Grace's true personality.

And she was, Karen had to admit, a lovely person. A bit sarcastic, maybe a bit self-involved at times… but Karen could identify with that. And that was part of what she loved about her. They were oddly similar.

Grace blushed. "Am I?"

Karen nodded. "But not when you blush. 'Cause with that hair and that red face – no, not a good look, honey." She tucked a strand of Grace's hair behind her ear, and let her hand linger on her cheek for a moment before removing it, noticing with satisfaction that Grace's blushes had increased.

"What was that?" she asked, quietly.

"What, honey?" Karen feigned innocence. At least she could always rely on her exaggerated persona to get her through moments like this. "I'm not responsible for my actions, Grace, I'm so drunk right now…"

"You've not drunk anything yet," Grace commented.

"Oh honey…" It was an appropriately oh-how-naïve-you-are tone. "I'm always drunk." But recently, since Stan had gone… it was easier and easier to stay off the drink. When she wasn't drunk, she could see clearly, she could remember what happened, she could watch Grace and understand what she was going through…

Grace looked at her friend for a few moments. "I never thought that you'd be quite like this, Karen."

"Quite like what?" Karen prompted.

"So… understanding." Grace shrugged. "I guess I had you down wrong."

"You mean a non-feeling alcoholic?" Karen sighed and stood up.

"That's not what I said…"

"I love you, Grace, and I kinda have experience in the area you're having problems with right now." Karen headed for the door, but turned around when she reached it. "You think that I don't see you every day and think 'Yeah, I know what she's going through, I know how that feels'? Or do you think that I just sit there with my vodka – which is more often than not just water now – and live to put you down?"

Grace looked startled at the storm she had aroused in Karen, and simply shook her head. "I'm sorry, Kare. I didn't mean to sound…"

"No… it's okay… you're allowed to be stressed…" Karen laughed slightly. "God knows I was stressed when Stanley and I were having that rough patch. I drowned it out with alcohol…" She opened her purse and took out a flask. "Gin. Want some?"

"Hell yeah." Grace took the flask and gulped some down, wincing at the unfamiliar taste.

And somehow, Karen didn't quite remember how, but somehow, the flask ended up empty, and she and Grace ended up… doing what most men would fantasise about. Of course, when she told Jack, he was repulsed. Will bore it somewhat better. But most men would have loved to hear about it. It was just a pity she didn't know any straight men.

She remembered how nervous she and Grace were about telling everybody. Not so much Will and Jack… they wouldn't judge them, that would just be the pot calling the kettle gay – she remembered how much she had laughed when Grace said that; probably mainly out of nerves. But Leo – Grace was afraid of telling him. But, as she constantly told Karen, at least she knew that this was right. She was in a relationship with someone she knew, someone who knew her.

Better than anyone, Karen reflected. She knew Grace so much better than Will did. Now she didn't only know the work-related things – she knew the way Grace looked first thing in the morning, her hair untidy and her eyes sleepy. She knew that Grace was a natural redhead. She knew how Grace took her morning coffee – not that she made it of course, but she'd heard her telling Rosario enough mornings. But, above all, she knew what it was like to love Grace, and have Grace love her.


End file.
